a little boy and his car

I have to always remember that it takes nothing more than ten minutes of my time to make my kids so happy. I've been trying to have more one on one time with each of them. What a difference it makes! It seems so easy to do, but with more than one kid and lots of other things on our plates it's harder than you would think. But wow, does it result in calmer, kinder, more cooperative kids for sure. I have to remember that soon it will be me that is the one wanting to spend more time with them when they are all busy teenagers that now is the time to really be with them. There is something so sweet about how simple it is to please them just by passing a car back and forth on the floor. 

My favorite shot. He's just so intense sometimes and it shows here. 

A little note, I've playing a bit with the setting on my camera to get better shots straight out of the camera. Every setting is different but I bumped up the contrast, set these for vivid and warmed them up a bit in my camera settings menu. And of course just find good light. The more I've gotten busier with taking pictures for other people I've learned to simplify and cut down post-processing on personal stuff. Pretty happy about these straight out of the camera.

i want them to know...

I've been thinking about this one here. He's had a rough week and a half. Anyone that has a kid that has food sensitivities knows that it doesn't just affect them physically but alters their mood and behavior just as much. He hasn't been the same bright, sweet, happy-go-lucky boy that we love. He is one that just isn't comfortable in his own skin. He has reactions and hurts even with all that we do for him. Sometimes it just makes me crazy thinking about how to keep this little boy well, I would do anything in my power to see him healthy all the time. I just ache for him. I can't imagine the stress his body goes through. Even with knowing this I still sometimes forget when he's having fits and outbursts how hard it is for him to handle all that is little body goes through. 

I have a new resolve to work my tail off at loving them better, especially when they are at their worst, because that's when they need me the most. I hope that I can love my kids all the time, not just when they are happy, when it is easy to love them, but on the bad days. I want them to know that I love them even when it's a struggle, when it takes lots of deep breaths and extra effort and a whole lot of work. I want for them to know that they are the most precious things in the world to me. I want them to know that I genuinely enjoy them, not all the time, but really honestly, truly a lot of the time. That I get a kick out of listening to them talk to each other and watching them play and the quirky things they do during the day. I want them to know that I think they are each something really special. I want them to know that my life is amazing and full of purpose because of them and that I love them with everything I have each day. 

“Think the best of each other, especially of those you say you love. Assume the good and doubt the bad.”

- Jeffrey R. Holland

mothering three

Since I've had our little lala here I feel like life has been turned upside down. In a good way though. I don't know what it is about three but tt's amazing how busy life has become. My days literally fly by.  I feel like in every moment there is always a need to be met, whether it is immediate like feeding, changing, cleaning and all the essential things that come with caring for these little people or just loving them and making sure they all get some attention. And there are those moments that are really so very good and happy and I know how very, very lucky I am.  

I'm learning slowly to go easy on myself, to try my hardest but not beat myself up so much.  I'm trying to take it all one moment at a time. I heard long ago from a friend that her grandmother had always told her to "Grace herself." To be forgiving and gracious not just of others but of herself. Though I have to say that it's so much easier to say it than to do it!

My goals this year are really simple, to make sure I give more hugs and kisses to them, to smile at them and laugh with them more and to enjoy them as much as I can.   Everyday I just think that soon they really will be grown and I'll have these memories of them when they were little and I want to make those memories of their childhood as happy as I can. I'm sure you have all read this but here is one of my most favorite quotes.

Mother, O' Mother, come shake out your cloth,

Empty the dustpan, poison the moth.

Hang out the washing, make up the bed,

Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?

She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due,

Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek - peekaboo.

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew,

And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo.

But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.

Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?

Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow,

But children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!

I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

~ Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

dear friends

There might not be anything happier to me in this whole world than seeing my children

smile at each other.

time out

i know i'm their mom but it's so cute right? this is how time outs go around here. they usually end up in giggles from them and me because she gets joined by her brother right after. i love how he goes and scoots right up close to her.

no one has been getting any time outs this week. nope, still too sick to get into any trouble. i thought we might be over the worse of it but tonight ended with more throw up. ugh. that's day six for us. it's been a slow week, and aside from cleaning up the consequences, i have to confess that this flu has had it's up sides. i've done nothing much but hold my sick babies and read stories and i've even got in a few naps for myself. still i could do without the sad little faces and fevers.

Mothering

It's late and everyone is tucked in for the night. I love these quiet moments when everyone is sleeping. Mother's Day was just nice. I know it can bring out a lot of emotions for some people but I just like it. Today I just was contemplating the amazing women in my own life. Then at church I love hearing about everyone's mothers. I know every mother isn't as perfect and squeaky clean as they seem in those talks on mother day's but I do like to hear about the good women that have made mothering their business and how their children remember them. It just makes me want to be better.

I have been working on a photo wall and came across this photo. I love how happy she looks. Being a mother has made so much more out of my life than there ever was before children. I am so very blessed to have them and to have their love.  When I think about it, it can feel like more responsibility than I should be trusted with but I know that if I take it by small moments, one smile at a time, one story at a time, being cheerful even in the early morning hours one more time even, that I can do it.  I'm learning that it doesn't always have to be perfect, it never could be if I tried, but as long as I can remember to see the happy moments in the middle of all the rest of the daily activities then I'm doing okay.

quiet afternoon

The other day I was thinking every parent should start out with a couple kids and go down from there. Not really possible but I don't think I ever knew how nice it was to be able to spend so much time with one. I never really appreciated how easy those times were when there was just one. I wouldn't trade my two little ones for anything but during naps or preschool it is so nice to have one on one time with one of my children. Like this afternoon during naptime when it was just us girls. Loved it. 

motherhood guilt

The tricky thing about being a mom is that I let what's going in my day get to my head. I feel so fulfilled when my kids are healthy and happy. It's the best feeling. Then when they are having rougher days I question myself. And then there is that mother guilt. It gets to me sometimes.

Yesterday was one of those days when everything started so smoothly. I woke up early to my sunshine boy and had some quiet minutes with him. Played with him and filled his little belly and then he was ready to go back to bed. Which meant I got to climb back into my own warm bed (don't judge, it was only 5:30 by that time). I woke up an hour later to Amelie standing by my bed with an arm full of books. Love, love, love that.

Then there was breakfast and playgroup and running to preschool, running some errands (with only one kid!).

Then after coming home I was getting ready to put C down for a nap and he had a mouthful of Amelie's crackers she had in her bag from preschool in his mouth. He has food intolerances and can't have gluten or dairy. We are still trying to figure it all out right now and it's a bit of a nightmare. But needless to say even after swiping most of it out of his mouth, he was still quite sick after. I held him for a good long time while he cried and felt awful and of course, I felt awful.

Anyways, there just seems like there is always something I'm feeling guilty about. I know this might be an extreme situation, usually it's just things like feeling guilty over letting my babies cry it out or I feel guilty when I rock them to sleep because they should be learning how to go to sleep by themselves. Or I feel guilty that I don't play with them enough or because I did play with them and my house is insane when the mister comes home. I just decided that this motherhood guilt is something I'm going to be trying my utmost to let go of.  I know it can play a part. It can push me to do better everyday and to work harder at taking care of these sweet kids I have. But if I am trying my hardest everyday then it's not constructive and it only makes me a little crazy. I really just get in my own way when I feel guilty because it sucks the happiness out of me. So here's to letting go!

Fais Do Do and other sweet lullabies

I have to say that some of my most tender moments of being a mother have been while I was singing to my babies. At the end of the day when everything is coming to a close.  Some of the songs I sing to them are Stay Awake from Mary Poppins, Somewhere Over the Rainbow, La La Lu, You are My Sunshine, and Goodnight Sweetheart. I love the thought of my children remembering bedtime songs and singing them to their own babies.

 I've been looking to get some new material  for bedtimes. Mostly for me because it gives me something to learn.  I was talking to a friend of mine who served a mission for our church in Berlin.  I knew she would have picked up something in her time there and she did. It's the sweetest song. Fais Do Do. It means go to sleep. After listening to it I remembered I learned it during a French class in college. I can't believe I haven't thought of it. You have to listen to it. I know you'll love it. I printed off the words and I'm going to learn it.

Here are some other new ones (to me!) that I like:

Slumber My Darling-Alison Krauss

Edelweiss

My Darling-Ryan Tanner

In My Life-Beattles

Do you have any lullabies that you sing to your babies?

Image: photo of my little sunshine boy as a newborn by the oh so talented Jana Beck